


In the White Silence

by chemicalburnfromthespiralperm



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Ableist Language, Deaf Character, Deaf Jared, Gen, M/M, deaf!Jared, deafness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2015-11-30
Packaged: 2018-05-03 00:10:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5269205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chemicalburnfromthespiralperm/pseuds/chemicalburnfromthespiralperm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's like Romeo and Juliet if Juliet were Deaf and everyone still hated you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Jensen catches a glance of the hottest guy he's ever seen but what does he do when he not only doesn't speak his language, but the guy also can't hear him? Just your average hearing guy in a Deaf world with no directions... Eventual Jared/Jensen with plenty of best friends Gen and Danneel. The gang's all here!

"Misha.  Holy shit."

"Jensen, it's the middle of the day and you're already looking to score some ass?"

"Look at him -- it's the guy sitting by himself at the table in the corner.  The big guy -- long brown hair, looks like he's built like a brick shit house."

"Okay well, he's certainly your type, but could you put your dick away at least until after we're done having fuckin' lunch together?"

"But what if he leaves?"

"Bro, he's obviously eating with someone!  Do you not notice the other plate?  And the PURSE!  It's a woman!  He's not gay."

"My ass he isn't gay.  I bet you twenty bucks."

"I bet you thirty he punches you in the face."

"Actually, you have yourself a deal, because that would be an exciting story to tell."

Jensen hops off his bar stool after downing the rest of his drink, much to Misha's disapproval.  He feels like he should care more, and he's probably said this a hundred times already, but love at first sight.  Isn't that a thing?  He's never seen a more beautiful back-of-the-head in his entire life.  He's probably built like Adonis, and Jensen can tell from behind.

Yes, it's midday in a Chili's and he feels a little buzzed from the two beers he had but that really isn't going to stop him.  He finally catches a glimpse of this guy's face as he nods at his waiter.  He's beautiful, that is the only word Jensen can think.  He's absolutely mesmerized.  His cheekbones could cut glass, Jensen's sure of it.  He has to get this guy's number.  Please, God, for once be on his side -- let this man be gay.

He steps up to the table and has to take a deep breath to stop himself from rambling.  He's currently looking at his phone, so Jensen just starts.

"Um, hey man, this might seem a little weird, but I noticed you from across the room and you took my breath away.  I'm sorry if you're not gay, but I was... wondering... "

Still not listening.

"Yo, bro."

Nothing.

Jensen waves his hand near his face, and the guy immediately looks up like he's severely embarrassed.  He goes to open his mouth, but Jensen just stops him with a grin.

"Don't worry about it.  I was just telling you that I noticed you from all the way across the room.  You're beautiful, and I was wondering if I could get your number."

Literally still nothing.

Jensen's seen more emotion on a toaster.

"Um...  hello?"

"Wow, he's deaf."

Jensen turns to meet eyes with his attacker but only meets air.  She's a 5'3 Sicilian woman that Jensen has to look down very, very far to see.

"Excuse me?  He's what?"

"He's deaf.  Can't hear."

"What the hell are you doing with your hands?"

Her eyes grow saucer wide like she's never been more offended in her life.

"It's called interpreting?  He doesn't speak English, asshole.  He speaks ASL -- American Sign Language.  Because he's deaf.  Go eat someone else's ass, please."

"Wait, no, really -- he's deaf?  Can't hear a thing?  HELLO IN THERE?"

"You literally have 30 seconds to turn around and walk away before _I_ eat your ass with my Louboutin."

The guy suddenly lets out a low moaning sound as he stands, using his hands to cover his friend's.  He frantically waves his hand at her while he holds onto both of hers with his other.  He's got some huge hands.  He suddenly turns to Jensen after the woman lets out a low sigh and shrugs.

"Whoa, whoa, why is he doing that?  What is he doing?"

She looks like she'd rather be slitting her own throat than be talking to him.

"He's trying to fucking communicate with you, dipshit.  Shut the fuck up and LOOK at him.  He asked me to interpret for him."

Jensen's mind is reeling.  He has no idea what to fuckin' do.

The guy sighs heavily, but he starts waving his hands again, and the woman starts to speak.

"Look, I deal with guys like you on a regular basis.  I have no desire to try and help you or speak with you until you help yourself.  Please leave so my friend and I can finish our lunch.  I would really appreciate it.  I hope you have a good day."

Jensen turns to speak to the woman, but she holds up her hand.  "No -- you're talking to him, so _talk_ to him.  I said I would interpret."

"Um...  oh-okay?  I, uh...  I'm sorry?  I've never done this before.  I've never met a deaf person.  I didn't, um...  I've never met someone like you before, someone that can't... I mean, I don't -- I'm sorry.  I just wanted his -- your -- number.  That's all.  I mean, you're beautiful."  He can tell the woman is trying really hard not to roll her eyes at him.  "You are.  You took my breath away when I saw you.  I didn't mean to upset you, okay?"

The guy lets her finish waving her hands around before he starts waving them back at Jensen.

"Genevieve might be my interpreter when I work, but today we're having lunch as friends, so I think you owe her an apology.  And me, really, but I'll let it slide.  I deal with people like you regularly."

"People like me?"

"Idiots," she says, with an all too-happy grin.

"I...  I apologize for wasting your time.  Both of you."

"Thank you, and he appreciates it.  He also said he has a boyfriend."

Jensen wasn't aware it was possibly to fall in love and get your heart broken all in a matter of ten minutes, but it's happened and holy shit does it feel terrible.

"Well, I guess he's a lucky guy.  Sorry.  Have a good day."

And...  and, well, that's really it, isn't it?  She sits down and immediately they both begin waving their arms at each other.  She's blushing like he's complimenting her like crazy and he's laughing, but his voice sounds funny.  He's never met a deaf person before...  not until then.  He's pretty sure he has a deaf cousin on his mother's side, but apparently she has some crazy implant that makes her hear.  He's not sure...

But to be completely honest he feels like he's been punched in the throat.

"That bad, huh?  At least he didn't hit you, though his friend looked like she was about to.  That would have been fuckin' hilarious, bro.  Are you done eating?"

Jensen just absently nodded.  He had no idea why he felt so awful, why he felt so...  blindsided by that.  

"I...  ya, man.  I guess so."

Misha threw some cash on the table and grabbed his coat.  "Hey, give me a sec.  I'll be right back."

Jensen hardly paid attention until Misha was jogging away IN THE DIRECTION OF THE HOT GUY.

"Misha, n -- no...  don't..."

Misha Collins can speak fuckin' sign language.

The guy laughed again, that weird hollow sound to his voice, and seemed to be instantly enamored with him.  Jensen could fuckin' kill him.  Hell, even that woman, his friend Genevieve, was laughing and chatting with him!  What the fuck?  It wasn't until Jensen saw the hot deaf guy hand over HIS FREAKING TELEPHONE NUMBER to Misha that he felt his damn blood boiling.

He grabbed his own coat, threw twenty bucks down and stormed out of the Chili's.

Today fuckin' blew.


	2. Chapter 2

"What a nice guy!"

Gen shrugged her shoulders as she reached for her drink, signing something noncommittal as Jared watched Misha leave.  He seemed far nicer than his counterpart, but Jared couldn't really judge him based on his first experience with a deaf person.  He didn't want to do that.  Jared himself had been judged upon first glance by many people, so to do the same to Misha's friend would make him a hypocrite.

His phone buzzed beside him, a heart eye emoji from an unknown number that he was assuming was Misha.  The guy had seemed really nice, apologized for his friend, asked him out for coffee.

"You're really going to go out with him?"

He couldn't judge exactly what Gen meant, so he merely shrugged.

"I'm not sure.  He just texted me.  He seems really nice -- what's the problem with having more friends, especially if they sign?"

She finally smiled at him, and he had the impression that she knew something he didn't, but he said nothing.

"I can't believe you told that other guy you had a boyfriend and then gave his friend your number.  Just be careful.  You know I love you and I don't want you to get hurt."

Jared shrugged again, but not to brush her off.  His smile was genuine if anything.

"I really appreciate you."  He made sure to punctuate each sign.  "You are my best friend, and the mother of my son.  I love you.  I really appreciate you caring about me.  Speaking of, when is your next appointment?"

It was Gen's turn to shrug, waving her hands for a moment before she finally remembered.

"I think it's next week.  I have to double check.  We didn't do it the old fashioned way this time -- IVF takes differently, apparently.  Michael will be excited to have a sibling."

"I need to tell Danneel thanks for babysitting him so we could get lunch.  I'm glad I got to spend time with you today, time where you aren't working for me."  He makes a point to look slightly upset -- yes, she started out as his interpreter for his first job, but she has become so much more.  He needs to find a new interpreter.  "Are you excited?"

"Yes!"  She immediately nods, and almost looks surprised that he asked.  "I never expected to have any children, and Michael was a happy accident, but to have two?  I'm thrilled.  Danneel isn't completely on board yet, but she'll come around.  If she loves me she will."

"And she does.  Michael loves her, too."

"And she loves Michael."

Jared grins.  "One big, happy, deaf family, right?"

She grins back.  "Of course."

He sensed some hesitation, but again, he said nothing.  He wasn't exactly sure what to ask, if there was anything to ask.  He had no idea how these kind of relationships go.  He wished there were some kind of book for him to read to try and understand the dynamic, but there was nothing.  She'd been his interpreter for almost ten years, and his friend for almost that long, and now they had a child together.  This was far too complicated a web for him to talk his way out of, and deaf or not, if there was one thing Jared was good at, it was talking.

"You okay?"

He hadn't realized he'd checked out on her.  He just waved his hands.

"I'm great.  I think we should get going.  It's going to be a long day for me.  I have to get back to the school."

She didn't seem to buy it, but nodded anyway, a smile still lightly painted across her lips.  He wish he had something to say, but for once in his life he was speechless.

"I'll call you later, okay?  Tell Danneel I said hello, and thank you.  I can pick Michael up after school lets out, yes?"

Genevieve nodded once more, very obviously trying to understand his shift in mood, but even Jared couldn't.  It gave him whiplash.  He could only imagine how she felt.

"I'll let her know.  You should call her -- she said she hasn't heard from you in a while."

_I'm impregnating her wife for a second time without her permission.  She'd avoid me if it were the other way around..._

"I will, I promise."

Jared kisses her on the lips chastely, innocent but filled with affection as he grabs his coat and his hat and dashes out the door.

The drive back to TDS is an unfortunately long one, a drive filled with Jared thinking of nothing other than the tangled web he'd weaved with Gen and Danny.  Half the time he hated himself, and the other half of the time he couldn't believe he was asking them to do this again, though this time the outcome would be different.  Yes, the new baby would be his, but it would live with Gen and Danny, unlike Michael living with solely Jared.  It was an experience he wasn't looking forward to having.  When Gen gave birth to Michael, it had been all about him and Gen and Michael, not Danneel...

But this time, Jared would just be an onlooker as two new mothers fawned over their new baby.

He felt like a jackass, but part of him was praying the IVF wouldn't take.

God, strike him dead now...

TDS, the Texas School for the Deaf, was a zero through 21 year old school for deaf and hard of hearing children.  It was the first place Jared ever really felt he fit in, so after graduating from Gallaudet with his bachelor's in education, he decided to become a teacher.  He's lived in Austin his entire life and has no plans of going anywhere else, as long as he gets to continue teaching and helping students in the same way his teachers helped him.

"Mr. P!  Great to see you!"

He's shocked out of his reverie -- Jenna Ackles was always way too excited for his case.  He was never more grateful for being deaf than when he saw the looks on the hearies faces when she screamed.

"Hello, Jenna.  How are you?"

"Great!  Why do you look so tired?  You look awful!  Are you okay?"

He just shrugged.  "It's been a long day -- grown up stuff.  Get to class.  Go!"

She bounces off and he just sighs, trudging his way up the crowded halls.  Several students wave at him, a few faculty members stop him to ask him a thousand questions...

His office is a true sanctuary -- no students to bother him, no teachers barging in without their permission...  "Principal Padalecki!  Principal Padalecki!"

Just silence and a closed door.

He's certainly glad to be Deaf.


	3. Chapter 3

"Momma, you said her name was Jenna?"

"Jensen Ross, why are you so bothered by this?"

"Bothered?!  Momma, I'm just tryin' to get to know my family, here!  I ain't never spoken to them before and I just think it's poor manners to not get to know our family, even if they are cousins!"

"Jensen, this child is your father's uncle's daughter's daughter.  She is so far removed from you, I'd be surprised if y'all even had the same shape head!  What's got your panties in a twist?  Why are you so interested to know these people now?  They've never come to a single family holiday!"

"Momma.  It's Thanksgiving.  Isn't it a time to be thankful?  Can't you just, I don't know, call and see how they are?"

"You're a grown ass man.  You can do it yourself.  Are you bringing Misha to dinner this year, dear, or is he going home to see his own family?"

Jensen can see the narrow slits of her eyes, even through the god damn phone.

"You know what, momma, he is.  He does have his own family -- but they live in _Canada_.  How often would he ever really get to go see family that lives in Canada?  Really, momma?"

"I do not appreciate your tone, son.  I will call Richard and ask them to come over.  I just don't see what's so important about you meeting a deaf girl."

"Because I met a deaf guy two days ago and realized I have no clue whatsoever when it comes to deaf people even though I have a deaf person in my family and I think that's just a little rude!"

"You gonna learn sign language?"

"Are you?"

"I know some, Jensen.  Your father and his cousins were close once.  When Jenna was born I picked up a few things, like how to say my name and her name.  You should at least learn that if she comes over so she ain't a fish out of water."

"Does she have that implant thing?"

"A cochlear?  No.  I believe they discussed it at one point, but decided not to.  I just don't understand that -- if you could save your child's life, wouldn't you?  If you could fix them, wouldn't you do everything you could to help them?"

"I don't know, momma.  If Denise had a deaf baby, what are the chances I'd have one if I ever had children?"

"Who knows, Jensen.  I'll call them.  I promise.  I'll do it right now, but don't get all sick in the gut if they don't accept or show up."

She hangs up swiftly, and Jensen barely has time to even feel mad at her.

Fuck this -- it's cold and he needs a coffee.

He throws on a giant coat and walks to the Starbucks that's nearest his house.  It's a beautiful Monday morning -- sunny, full of fall weather, bright and happy...  and he's hoping that the sweater weather will bring him out of his funk before he has to go into work.

Jensen has no idea what's gotten into him when he comes barreling into a brick fuckin' wall -- oh, his mistake.  It's the brick shithouse deaf guy he made an ass of himself in front of at the Chili's last Friday.  WAY TO GO, JENSEN.  He's so fucking tall and he smells like cinnamon and the ocean or like he walked right out of an Abercrombie ad and it disgusts him and also makes him a little too hot for how cold it is outside and they both dropped their things and god damnit, how can he be this flabbergasted by someone he doesn't know?

"Fuck, I'm so sorry!  Fuck.  You can't hear me.  Fuck."

"It's fine."

What the fuck.  He can talk.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm the deaf one, not you."  He bends down to pick up his car keys and Jensen's phone.

"Exactly, so how can you hear what I'm saying?"

He brushes that gorgeous mahogany hair to the side to reveal a hearing aid.

"Wait, so you can, like...  actually hear me?"  He watches the guy's face flicker to confused for a moment.  "I mean, you're not deaf anymore?"

He still has that confused look until he chuckles.  His voice sounds so incredible weird but also extremely sexy at the same time.  Jensen has never been more sexually confused.  Or aroused.  Or both.  Probably both.

"No, I can't hear.  I'm still deaf, but the hearing aid helps me know what's going on around me.  Not with, I have zero percent hearing, but with I have maybe 25, 30%.  It's okay.  It keeps me connected when I'm out by myself."

"That's fuckin' radical, man."

"I still need you face me when you talk.  I can't read your lips if I can't see you."

His voice sounds so incredible weird.  He's heard deaf people speak on television -- that deaf chick from the L Word -- and this guy sounds a lot like her.  There's a strange disconnect Jensen is having here.  How can Jared speak if he's deaf?  He doesn't sound normal and Jensen isn't really sure what normal is supposed to sound like, but he doesn't sound like Jensen.

"I'm sorry.  I'm...  I'm still learning.  I'm Jensen."  He holds out his hand.

"Chensee?"

"Jen-sen-uh."

"Chensena."

"Wait."

He pulls out his phone and asks Siri what his name is.

" _You're Jensen, but since we're friends, I get to call you Stallion._ "

"Stallion."

The guy does something with his hand that he's pretty sure might be the sign for "stallion."

"Shut up -- it's a joke with my best friend.  But there -- it says it.  Jensen."

"Chensen."

Jensen really fuckin' likes the way his name sounds on this guy's lips.

"I'm Jared."  He waves his hand around in a vague shape.  "My name sign is --"  he touches his pinky to his right dimple and turns his hand like he's turning a doorknob, but only twice.  "It's because of my dimples.  It's nice to meet you, Jensen."  He seems to enjoy doing that hand thing and talking at the same time.  Jensen is fuckin' mesmerized.

"It's really nice to meet you, Jared.  I'm sorry about the other day."

"You don't have to speak slower.  It's my ears that don't work, not my brain.  I will be okay."

It's just one giant fuck up after another for him, isn't it?

"I'm sorry."

Jared just grins.  "I know.  Buy me a coffee.  Venti white mocha.  Extra whip."

"Fatty."

Jared does Jensen wrong by lifting up his coat and his shirt to reveal washboard fucking abs.  It's disgusting.

Jensen wants to lick it.

"I think I'm good.  Coffee.  Now."

Jensen opens the door for him if only to watch him walk away.  God damn.  He's in love.


	4. Chapter 4

_"Hello????  Why are you ignoring me???"_

Jared slid his phone back into his pocket after briefly checking the screen.  Genevieve.

Jensen was talking a mile a minute and Jared was catching about a quarter of it all, but he figured that even if he weren't distracted, he still wouldn't be able to catch up.  The low murmur of the coffee shop and the clinging of utensils was uncomfortable enough, so halfway through Jensen's rant he switched his hearing aid off.  Perfect silence.  He honestly felt bad for hearies -- how could they stand not just being able to check out once in a while.

"Do you know what I mean?"

Jensen waved his hand in front of Jared's face gently, a confused look on his face and suddenly Jared felt bad.

"I'm sorry -- you were talking really fast.  What did you say?"

He was grateful when the other man just smiled.  "I was asking about your boyfriend."

"I lied to you.  To get you to go away."  At least Jared has the decency to look embarrassed as he grins widely, reaching up to scratch nervously at the back of his head.  "I never expected to see you again."

"So you mean there's still a chance for me?"

"If you buy me this coffee and stop looking away from me when you talk to me."

Jensen scrunches his face up, shakes his head slightly and looks like a Ken Dolls as he tries to apologize.  It's not Jensen's fault -- he'd never met a deaf person before.  All Jared could do, if he really wanted to get to know Jensen better, is be patient with him.  Teach him.  Get him to understand that he needs to alter some of his behavior when he speaks to Jared.

He doesn't have time to even start that conversation before someone is tapping him excitedly on the shoulder.  When he turns around he's met by the last person he ever thought to see.

"Chad!"  He doesn't know how his voice sounds when he shouts but he doesn't care.  Chad is embracing him heartily, slapping him on his back and voicing, also.  He steps out of line to clap his friend on the back in tandem and get a better look at him.  He doesn't notice how every single person in the building turns to glare at them.

"Jared!  How are you?!"

His sign is excited and it makes Jared grin, saucer wide and just as bright as the sun.  He can't help it -- he's known Chad since birth.  They both went to TSD, even dated at one point, but that was a long time ago.

"I'm fantastic!  It's great to see you!  I'm so tired of always missing your texts!  We need to learn to work Facetime."

"Funny!"  Chad laughs, and part of Jared wants to turn his aid back on to hear the sound, but he doesn't.  "I'm sorry we haven't been able to meet up.  Everything has been so busy with Sophia and the new house.  We're having a party.  You should invite Gen!"

"Yeah, I'll totally do that!  We'd love to come.  She just started IVF."

"IVF?  You guys are planning another baby?"

"Yeah, it's pretty crazy.  It was -- "

Suddenly there's a hand in his face.  It, unfortunately, belongs to Jensen.  He tries to say something, but Chad is already there.

"Who is this hearing monkey?!  How rude!  Can't you see we're busy, buddy?"

Jensen just looks like a lost puppy, and this was the last place Jared wanted to be -- in the middle of this awkward war.

"Chad," Jared says, signing as he speaks, "this is my...  friend.  Jensen."

"Your friend?  This clown is your friend?"

"Chad?  It's great to meet you.  What is he saying?"

"You can't be serious, Jared!"

"Jared, I don't understand him."

"WHOA!  Stop!"  Jared brings his hand down swiftly into his other one, communicating to both of them to stop.  Jared's one guy.  He's not used to interpreting, hardly ever has to do it as all of his hearing friends known sign language.  This is new territory, and his anxiety level has just shot through the roof.

"Chad, I met him last Sunday at a restaurant.  I was with Gen and he came up and asked for my number."

"And you gave it to him?!"

"No, I did not.  This is a longer story than we have time for.  We weren't hanging out.  He bumped into me outside."  He turns to Jensen.  "Jensen, this my friend Chad.  He used to teach with me, but he teach at another school.  His name sign is 'Chad.'"  Jared forms a C with his hand and swipes it quickly across his face one time.  "I need one minute.  Next time, just tap me on the shoulder, okay?"

"Okay, sorry.  Tell him it's nice to meet him."

Chad looks less than impressed with the evolving situation, but there isn't anything Jared can do about that.

"Please tell me you aren't about to date this hearing yuppie?"

"Chad, I never said I was going out with him.  I told you, I just bumped into him outside.  He offered to buy me coffee and I said yes.  That's it.  Besides, if I do choose to date someone, I really don't think it's your business."

Chad shakes his head, and Jared fears this conversation is going to turn for the worst.

"Look, I'm really glad I got to see you.  You look fantastic.  I just wanted to grab a coffee and jet, and I can see that you're frustrated.  I've never had to interpret before -- I can't even imagine -- so I'll leave you guys to it.  I love you.  Please call me.  I might stop by TSD later."

"Of course.  Please.  We would love to see you.  I love you, too."

They share an embrace that lasts too long and Jared's more than happy with that.  When they pull away they're both grinning, and Chad steps to the back of the line.

"He seems like a nice guy."  At least Jensen waited for Jared to look at him this time.

"He's one best.  But, if you need my attention, you should just tap me.  Touch my shoulder.  Don't wave in my face.  It's just a little rude.  Hearing people don't come up to you and shout in your ear when they need you, do they?"

Jensen has the decency to look embarrassed.  "I'm sorry.  I wish I wasn't so stupid."

"All hearing people are stupid.  It's just -- some of them choose to learn.  You don't have to stay stupid."

"If I haven't already ruined it for myself, I would really like to get your number to keep in touch."

There was something about what Chad had said that still had Jared's hair standing on end -- you aren't really going to date a hearing person, are you?  The conviction with which Chad had said it made Jared reel.  He understood why some people in the community felt that way.  Hearing people were audists -- they didn't care about anyone but themselves, but then how did you explain people like Gen and Sandy?  His parents?  His entire family?  Not all hearing people were that way, and while Jensen was that way now, who was to say he'd stay that way?

He looked curiously at the glint in Jensen's eye for a moment before he felt himself nodding.

"I'll give you my number.  You're buying coffee me -- it's the least I can do."

Jensen's entire face lights up and Jensen feels something in his belly light up as well.

He's never dated a hearing guy before, or even made an effort to befriend any people that were hearing that didn't already know ASL.  What if he's missing out on an entire world?  What if his soulmate has been out here this entire time, but he's never known it just because they can hear and he can't?

"One venti white mocha with extra whip, please."

Perhaps venti white mocha could be their always.


	5. Chapter 5

Jared has never and will never have another experience like that of being a part of the Deaf community.  It's not something any hearing person will ever experience, and he knows this because his family tells him every day.  They've never seen a community look out for one another like the Deaf community.  They've never seen a group of friends like Jared, Jeff, Chad and Danneel.  Thicker than blood and not even related.  They've never seen happier people than when a whole hoard of deaf people are together and talking.

He tells them it's because it's the only time they don't feel like outsiders -- everyone speaks the same language.

They try to remind him that they all speak sign language just like he does -- that because he and Jeff are both deaf, it doesn't make them any different than Megan or anyone else in the family.

He just smiles.

Jared Tristan Padalecki was born to hearing parents Gerry and Sherri Padalecki on a warm day in July, 33 years ago.  He was a bouncing baby boy, almost eleven pounds even with a full head of dark hair and one scrunched up little nose.  The entire room was a light with joy -- happy tears, bright lights, balloons...

Until Jared failed his hearing test.

They've never said so out loud, but for whatever reason Jared knows they had feelings of disappointment when they found out he was deaf, just like Jeff.  Megan was their pride and joy, their perfect hearing daughter that sings and laughs and speaks like no tomorrow.

Jared doesn't judge her for that, but he knows it's why he and Jeff don't know her very well.

He remembers spending hours and hours at night in his room with Jeff, signing non stop because, while his parents spoke the language pretty well, they weren't wholly fluent like Jeff and Jared were.  They would spent night after night talking about everything they could just to watch the other sign.  They grew up in each other's pockets.  They watched Megan grow up fawned over by their parents and tried so hard not to blame her for it -- the shiny new hearing baby...  but some things can't be helped.

Jared doesn't even know what he's looking at on his phone anymore.  All he can think about is the tinny laughter in his ear as he listens to his mom and dad go on and on about how wonderful Megan is.  He can't understand them, but he can hear the sound.  He's grateful that Michael is asleep in his playpen a few feet away.  It gives him a break from being fawned over.

"What's up?"

Jared just shrugs at his brother, sets his phone down with a scrunched up face and turns his hearing aid off.

"Tired of hearing people laugh."

"I don't know why you ever got one of those things.  Isn't it awful?  Hearing stuff?  I always hated them."

Jeff seems genuinely curious -- his hands fall into a secret rhythm that really only he and Jared could decipher.  It makes his chest grow warm.  They'd had their own secret sign language since they were children, a secret code, a language no one else could decipher, words their parents could never guess.  It made him happy, made both of them feel like spies when they were children because their mom and dad, not even Megan, could even begin to understand the secret code.

Jared feels like he's been asked this before, but he spares Megan a glace from across the room when she meets his eye.  He doesn't know what she's talking to their parents about, but part of him wishes he knew.

"Sometimes it's bad.  Too loud.  I don't get how hearing people do it.  Hear all the time.  I feel bad for them."

"You and me both, brother."

Jeff takes a seat at the breakfast bar next to him and turns to face the playpen.

"Mikey is my favorite nephew."

"Your only nephew, so I'm glad he made the list."

"Ya, ya.  His sign is incredible and he's only two."

Jared grins.  "Ya?  I'm proud of him.  You know, I was worried when he was born.  That he would be deaf.  It was so weird -- we're deaf and so is Danneel and Chad and...  everyone I know.  I didn't want him to be deaf, like I had this terrible life being deaf when that's not true.  That's the last thing about me that's true, but I still wanted him to be hearing.  I still wanted him to be normal."

"He's second generation deaf.  That's pretty special.  I would say that's more normal than anyone in this family."

"Do you think we're missing out on things?"

It's a question Jeff definitely wasn't expecting by the look on his face and by the way he glances over at Megan and almost grimaces.  He obviously has the same answer as Jared.

"What are we missing out on?  It's a dog eat dog world?  Get them before they get you?  Music?  No way.  I wouldn't trade being deaf for anything.  Not even music."

Jared just admires his brother for a moment before nodding.  "I guess."

"Look -- they are not the lucky ones.  We are.  Their lives will never be as special as ours.  What, so they hear?  Who cares?  We love Megan, we love our parents, we love our family...  but they aren't like us.  They probably think the same thing about us.  At least you finished speech therapy.  That makes you kind of normal."

Jared scrunches up his face.  "Not really.  They all give me the same look when they hear my voice -- poor deaf guy."

"Do you ever wonder what you sound like?"

"Not like everyone else, apparently."

Jeff just shrugs, and both of their heads snap up when the kitchen lights flash twice.  It's mom.

"Michael is crying."

Jared gives a quick thank you to her and a grin while he makes quick work of the playpen and lifts a sleepy baby out of it.  Michael immediately latches onto Jared and he can feel his chest rumble as he probably whines.  Jared just gives his back a small rub and bounces him softly.

"Speaking of the baby, when are you gonna get a husband, little brother?  You and this baby are too cute to be without a baby daddy.  I know Gen's balls are big enough for both of us, but you need a man."

Jared shoots him a glare as he takes his seat back on the stool and sets Michael on the breakfast bar.  He clearly has no intentions of letting go of Jared, and he's okay with that.

He heavily contemplates if he should mention Jensen -- or mention if he's hearing.

"I met someone.  A guy.  I don't know if it's anything to be excited about, but... he's hearing.  He isn't deaf."

Jeff is silent for way too long, and even though they're deaf it's strange to see Jeff not have anything to say.

"Hearing.  He can hear."

"Yes."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"I said find a husband, not find a science project.  Does he even sign?"

"I'm not actually dating him!  We're just talking!"

"You're defending him."

"Because he didn't do anything wrong!  He can just hear!"

"Does he know you have a kid?"

"He bought me coffee one time.  I didn't open my autobiography."

Jeff looks at him cautiously.

"Give me that baby and go call him.  Ask him out to dinner.  Real dinner."

"No!  I'm going to go change him, and be right back."

Jared leaves his phone on the counter and for once Jeff is glad he knows Jared better than anyone else does -- his lock code is his birthday.


	6. Chapter 6

"Look, I'm sorry about my brother."

Jensen's...  okay, so he's a lot disappointed.  He feels like a teenager that got tricked into getting asked to prom as a contest for ugliest date.  However, it's great to see Jared.  He didn't think Jared would actually agree to go out to dinner with him after his brother took his phone.  Jared looks fantastic -- like a fucking Leonardo da Vinci angel sculpted from marble.  A masterpiece.  There's something about him, something mysterious that Jensen wants to crack open and explore.  He's seems very quiet, but at least one person knows him wherever they go.  He seems popular and well-liked.  He seems happy.  He seems...  perfect.

He just can't hear.

There's a lot about this that Jensen doesn't understand, but he's willing to do his homework.  Apparently, you're allowed to wave your hand to get their attention, just not in their face.  You should tap them instead.  It's not rude to ask how they became deaf or how much money they spent on their car or their house.  It's not rude to point out that they look terrible because it means you care.  Deaf people are...  just people.  Apparently it's a culture all in it's own, and Jensen wonders if he'll ever understand.

"Your brother is a smart guy," Jensen says with a smirk.  "Is he deaf, too?"

A look flickers across Jared's face, but he nods.  "He and I are the only deaf in our family."

Jensen senses some tension, but this is only the third time he's meeting this guy.  He can't quite know for sure.

"Is it a hereditary thing?  Were you born that way?"

"Yes, my brother and I were both born deaf."  He clears his throat and it's slightly loud in the quiet restaurant, but no one turns around to stare.  Jensen loves listening to his voice.  He could listen to him talk forever.  "We had a great grandfather on my father's side who went deaf in his twenties.  Jeff is profoundly deaf, he doesn't wear a hearing aid or talk."

"I'm, um...  I'm sorry if I'm asking a lot of questions.  I just found out I have a deaf cousin -- Jenna.  She's about 14, goes to TSD.  It's a new experience for me, so I'm trying to learn."

"She goes where?"

"Who, Jenna?  She goes to, uh...  she goes to the school you teach at."

"Jenna Ackles?"

"Yes, Jenna.  Do you know her?"

Jared smiles slightly.  "Yeah, she looks like you.  Have you ever met her?"

"No, but I want to.  If she's 14 and she's been part of my family all this time but I've never met her, that just don't seem right.  Does it?"

"Well, she's a great kid.  Really happy.  She enjoys going to school there.  She tells me all the time."

 The ice is finally starting to melt from around Jared's heart...

They're left staring at each other for too long of a moment, but it's hardly awkward.  He gets a chance to admire Jared's eyes before he gets too embarrassed and turns away with a shy laugh.  He has dimples.  Jensen wants to taste them, wants to let his tongue linger too long in the crevasses just to hear what Jared would sound like when he moans.

He's torn from his reverie by a rude, throat clearing waiter...

They're settled with food sometime later, and for a deaf guy, he doesn't ever shut up.  Jensen spends the date laughing too loud with a sort of reckless abandon he hasn't allowed himself to do since James died.  This feels easy...  different than the slue of one night stands he's procured for himself for the last few years, that's certainly for sure.

"Why all the questions about me?  I know about me, now I know about you.  Tell me about you!"

Jensen resigns to a dramatic sigh, but Jared can obviously tell he's joking by the laugh, and he returns it with a grin.

"Okay, okay.  I'm 37, I'm tall, I'm handsome, what else?"

"Shut up!  Be serious."

"Okay, well, I'm an architect.  I play the piano, though admittedly I'm pretty rusty.  I don't play much anymore.  I'm single, I live alone, I have a dog...  I don't know what else to say."

Jared looks mischievous.  "Single, huh?"

"As the day is long."

They started leaning in to each other, though Jensen isn't sure when.

"I can fix that."

Much to Jensen's surprise, it's Jared who closes in on the kiss.  For someone who doesn't get a lot of mouth exercise by talking all day every day, his lips are absolutely gorgeous.  They feel like silk, taste like the sweetness of the raspberry tea he'd been drinking, with a slight saltiness that Jensen can't quite place, but he doesn't really care in this moment.  Their lips fit together perfectly, a piece finding its other half as Jared reaches up and cups Jensen's face with his hand.  It's feather soft and light to the touch, fingers barely dancing over Jensen's skin and suddenly he has goosebumps everywhere.  This feels too real, too magical to possibly _be_ real, but it's happening.

Jared lets out a soft sigh against Jensen's lips, and he's grinning.  It makes Jensen shiver.

"Let me know when you find a solution."

Jared gasps and shoves Jensen away with a smile.

It feels like he's known Jared his whole life.


End file.
